BEING THE MIRROR
The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children. –Jessica Lange
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YOU ARE THE MIRROR.
My baby has discovered mirrors. She’s mesmerized with her own reflection. There’s something about a mirror that gives us the ability to physically see ourselves in a way that we couldn’t before. It’s gotten me thinking about mirrors and the role of them in our lives as women and as mothers.
You are the mirror reflection your child sees. How you see yourself is how they will learn to see themselves. How you act and how you treat others – including how you treat yourself – is how they will learn to treat others and how to act. How you see and experience the world is how they will … these are all deep truths that we instill within our children without words.
- Are the being the mirror you want for your child to see?
- Does the way you see the world – and the beauty of life itself – really reflect joy, love, happiness and potential in a way that you would want for your child?
Children are the mirror for our internal work as parents.
Some thoughts on mirror science … also known as “mirror neurons”:
A recent research on mirror neurons has discovered that when we watch someone doing something, the same neurons that fire in their brain also fire in our brain. By watching them, we end up thinking and feeling the same thing they feel by doing. Scientists believe that the mirror neuron system is not only responsible for the acquisition of language and motor skill but also for how we acquire social skills and our ability to empathize with others.
Ok, but in addition to how we are teaching our children through mirror neurons, it’s important to talk about something more pressing in our daily lives…and that is our relationship with mirrors themselves. …
TO BE AN EFFECTIVE MIRROR PHYSICALLY YOU MIGHT NEED TO WORK FIRST ON HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR.
- Know that you can learn to love your body.
Negative body image is a type of disordered thinking and it’s one that there are tools for to combat and overcome. Do not resign yourself to thinking that you’re always going to feel unhappy or unsatisfied with yourself physically – choose to engage your mind and to train your thoughts.
- Speak words of life to yourself and stop being so stinking mean.
We are our own worst critics, and when it comes to mirror images, we moms can we the worst, to the point that we are actually meaner than the meanest bully. Learn to THANK your body for being your body – it is your vehicle for life and it is something you must honor, be grateful for and treat with kindness.
- Create an “I Love You, Body” List.
Stop everything you’re doing right now and write an “I Love You” list about your body. The more you train yourself to see your body for just how beautiful it is – and to see your “flaws” as what make you imperfectly perfect – the more confident and free in your skin you will feel.
- Walk away.
Refuse to engage in body bashing conversations with yourself or with others; and this includes the “I need to diet” conversations, the “I ate too much” / “I feel fat” / “I just ate too much sugar” conversations with others.
- Say nice things.
Intentionally say nice things about your body out loud, especially if you can say them around your children. The more you get used to saying nice things about your body, the more naturally calibrated those thoughts will become in your thinking. Additionally, you can improve your own body image and confidence in the mirror by saying nice things about others. Compliment others and build them up – anytime you have something nice to say about someone, tell them.
- Pursue real beauty.
Declare yourself an anti-perfectionist and stop buying into the fabricated, photo-shopped images in marketing and media that have created unrealistic and unreal standards of unattainable beauty. Pursue real beauty and know that no one else in the world has the unique beauty that you have. If we can learn to stop being half-hearted, cheapened and uncomfortable imitations of others, we will learn to see the real, one-of-a-kind beauty that we have.
- Make friends with the mirror.
Instead of looking at what you don’t like about yourself every time you look in the mirror, look at yourself as a whole (and not broken down by the parts you don’t like). Find one kind thing to say about yourself physically every time you look in the mirror and make a commitment to complimenting yourself in this way.
- Want more confidence and inspiration in your life? Make sure you come like my Facebook Fan page at facebook.com/trishblackwellfitness and go check out my other top-ranked podcast show, Confidence on the Go at tb.creativewebguy.com/podcasts
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Now go out there and be more of who you are, be you, be free, be the confident mom that you are meant to be.